Over the past several years, I have worked with a few different women. They were each very different from each other, but they all had one thing in common. Each of them believed the lies of this world that to discipline and tell their child no would cause him mental harm. This lie is the cause of the mental harm that their children face. Like us, children are sinners. If they are breathing, they have the capacity and the tendency to make wrong, sinful decisions. Children, like adults need to be told what to do, and what is expected of them. I'm not saying we need to punish them every time they make a wrong choice (God is rich in mercy and has given it to us so freely, we cannot refrain from demonstrating this mercy to our children).
Discipline is not merely the correction of and execution of punishment. Discipline is coming alongside our children, letting them know that we understand it is hard to obey. Showing them our faults, and our own need to seek God's forgiveness. Discipline is coming to our children and walking the path with them to help teach them to choose obedience over our selfish desires.
I found Grace Driscoll's article Godly Mother: Discipline can be Painful to be an encouragement when I read it the other day. I hope you also find it to be an encouragement to continue seeking God's best for our children by teaching them to deny themselves and seek God's truth.
Showing posts with label Daily Living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Daily Living. Show all posts
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Intentional Prayer
While attending college, my husband and I both took a class on prayer. The summer after that class I taught the lessons to my children's church class. However, since then the vital truths and lessons I learned in that class have been neglected and set aside for what I "thought" were more important things like cleaning, laundry, cooking. Now, as the Lord has been working in my life, I see how wrong I was to let these lessons fall away.
This year, one of our goals as a couple is to be intentional in teaching our children how to pray. We want to teach them that prayer isn't just a routine we go through before we eat, before we sleep, and when we disobey. We want them to develop a lifestyle of prayer.
Last summer I read a book about a monk named Brother Andrew and how he took every moment and every event as an opportunity to talk with God - he didn't need a special place, or perfect quiet, just a heart felt desire to communicate with God.
Today MoneySavingMom linked up to a post at When You Rise sharing seven printable prayer cards she created to post around the house to pray aloud in the presence of our children. I think it is so important that our children hear us praying even when we are not specifically praying with them.
This morning as I was completing my Bible reading, I shooed my son away with the statement, go play in your room so I can read in quiet. Oh, how wrong I was to push him away instead of allowing him to observe and realize how important the Scripture is and how vital it is to not allow the little distractions to push us away from communing with our Father.
This year, one of our goals as a couple is to be intentional in teaching our children how to pray. We want to teach them that prayer isn't just a routine we go through before we eat, before we sleep, and when we disobey. We want them to develop a lifestyle of prayer.
Last summer I read a book about a monk named Brother Andrew and how he took every moment and every event as an opportunity to talk with God - he didn't need a special place, or perfect quiet, just a heart felt desire to communicate with God.
Today MoneySavingMom linked up to a post at When You Rise sharing seven printable prayer cards she created to post around the house to pray aloud in the presence of our children. I think it is so important that our children hear us praying even when we are not specifically praying with them.
This morning as I was completing my Bible reading, I shooed my son away with the statement, go play in your room so I can read in quiet. Oh, how wrong I was to push him away instead of allowing him to observe and realize how important the Scripture is and how vital it is to not allow the little distractions to push us away from communing with our Father.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
A Clean Slate 2012
I once heard the analogy that our lives are a book to be written, and each year a new chapter. Last night ended one chapter of my life, and today I start writing a new chapter. However, the beauty about life verses writing a book is that each chapter need not progress the story as the last chapter did. The failures I had last year need not reoccur this year (although many of them probably will be default).
One thing I love about this analogy is that by the end of the book, hopefully the lead character of the story will have changed from me as an individual to the person of Jesus Christ. For the past thirty something years I have lived primarily for myself, what makes me feel good, what I like to do, and not entirely focused on Christ. Yet, each year as my story progresses I begin to hand over the leading role more and more to my Lord.
You see, my life should have nothing to do with me. My life should be nothing more than a conduit (like an electrical wire) for the power of the Holy Spirit to work through me. I am to be the hands, feet, and mouth for my Savior. Exclaiming His greatness! Sharing His Gospel, and passing on His love to those about me.
My plan this year is to read through the Bible four times - This should take no more than about an hour a day to accomplish. I also plan to have my oldest daughter read through the Bible this year. I am going to give her the same reading schedule I will be reading so we can discuss what we read. My younger children will be reading/listening to the Day by Day Kids Bible (as none of them are proficient readers yet).
We are also reading the Daily Light at Breakfast and Supper each day. I was given this wonderful gem years ago when I graduated from high school by a family that has had a huge impact on teaching me what it means to give everything to the service of the King. They also taught me how to study my Bible and how to love those around me. The sad thing is that I never really paid much attention to this gem until my MIL was here last year. She had been reading it during her visit and was so excited about it. She brought it to us, and as we read the Scripture compilations, we realized how wonderful this would be in helping us to pass on a love for the Scriptures to our children.
Anyways, my prayer for this year is to cultivate a love and passion for God's Word in my children. But to do that, I must plant and cultivate and care for that passion in my own heart. I pray that at the end of this chapter I can look back and say wow, God's Word is EVERYTHING to me.
What do you plan to have written in your chapter this year?
*Just a side note - right now I hear my six year old stumbling through the words of the Day by Day Bible and the sound of it is so precious.
One thing I love about this analogy is that by the end of the book, hopefully the lead character of the story will have changed from me as an individual to the person of Jesus Christ. For the past thirty something years I have lived primarily for myself, what makes me feel good, what I like to do, and not entirely focused on Christ. Yet, each year as my story progresses I begin to hand over the leading role more and more to my Lord.
You see, my life should have nothing to do with me. My life should be nothing more than a conduit (like an electrical wire) for the power of the Holy Spirit to work through me. I am to be the hands, feet, and mouth for my Savior. Exclaiming His greatness! Sharing His Gospel, and passing on His love to those about me.
My plan this year is to read through the Bible four times - This should take no more than about an hour a day to accomplish. I also plan to have my oldest daughter read through the Bible this year. I am going to give her the same reading schedule I will be reading so we can discuss what we read. My younger children will be reading/listening to the Day by Day Kids Bible (as none of them are proficient readers yet).
We are also reading the Daily Light at Breakfast and Supper each day. I was given this wonderful gem years ago when I graduated from high school by a family that has had a huge impact on teaching me what it means to give everything to the service of the King. They also taught me how to study my Bible and how to love those around me. The sad thing is that I never really paid much attention to this gem until my MIL was here last year. She had been reading it during her visit and was so excited about it. She brought it to us, and as we read the Scripture compilations, we realized how wonderful this would be in helping us to pass on a love for the Scriptures to our children.
Anyways, my prayer for this year is to cultivate a love and passion for God's Word in my children. But to do that, I must plant and cultivate and care for that passion in my own heart. I pray that at the end of this chapter I can look back and say wow, God's Word is EVERYTHING to me.
What do you plan to have written in your chapter this year?
*Just a side note - right now I hear my six year old stumbling through the words of the Day by Day Bible and the sound of it is so precious.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
A Heavy Weight
I look upon the peach tree heavy laden with fruit. Its branches dipping down to the ground, weighted by the fruit. I can't help but wonder if its branches will snap under the weight of the fruit, or if it can bear the weight for a few more days as it finishes ripening. I pick a few unripened peaches hoping to give the tree some relief.
Looking at those peaches on the counter this morning, I wonder if I should have left them on the tree. They would have ripened better and produced a sweeter taste than they will produce by ripening in the house. I was hasty, I should have known the tree could handle the weight of the fruit.
How often do I try to unload the weight of my struggles upon my husband? The answer to that is all too frequently. God created me to be a helpmeet to my husband. To help bear his struggles, not for him to bear mine. God promises in his word that he will not force me to bear any burden that He will not also give me the strength to carry through. I broke, today, I spoke hastily out of tiredness. My branches broke because I had not given them the support they needed or the nourishment from God's Word that was necessary to bear the weight.
Life is not a burden, my children are not burdens, but when I neglect to drink of the living water daily and bask in the glory of God, I can not produce the sweet fruit that others long to taste.
Looking at the peach tree, with it's fruit almost ripe, I can almost taste the peach and feel the juice dripping down my chin. Yes, I am eager to taste of the fruit of this tree. Are others eager to taste of the fruit of Christ's salvation by what they see growing in my life?
Looking at those peaches on the counter this morning, I wonder if I should have left them on the tree. They would have ripened better and produced a sweeter taste than they will produce by ripening in the house. I was hasty, I should have known the tree could handle the weight of the fruit.
Life is not a burden, my children are not burdens, but when I neglect to drink of the living water daily and bask in the glory of God, I can not produce the sweet fruit that others long to taste.
Looking at the peach tree, with it's fruit almost ripe, I can almost taste the peach and feel the juice dripping down my chin. Yes, I am eager to taste of the fruit of this tree. Are others eager to taste of the fruit of Christ's salvation by what they see growing in my life?
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
The Practice of the Presence of God
One of the many areas I need to improve in my life is being constantly aware of the Presence of God. Brother Lawrence was a monk who desired to spend every moment in constant fellowship with God. Here are a few quotes from Brother Lawrence that I found helpful in my journey. These quotes come from the book The Practice of the Presence of God with Spiritual Maxims.
"In the beginning of his novitiate he spent the hours appointed for private prayer in thinking of God, so as to convince his mind of, and to impress deeply upon his heart, the divine existence, rather by devout sentiments, and submission to the lights of faith, than by studied reasonings and elaborate meditations." (p. 28)
Instead of studing Scripture to grasp some big theological issue, Brother Lawrance spent his time on studying who God is, and filling his thoughts with the character of God. When spending daily time in prayer, we can so easily get distracted by interpreting and understanding different passages, that we often fail to notice how God is revealing himself in the passage.
Brother Lawrence also chose to focuse on conversing with God rather than elaborate prayers. I am sure we have all experienced praying with women who have prayed for show rather than out of a sincere fervancy to commune with God.
"he exercised himself in the knowledge and love of God, resolving to use his utmost endeavor to line in a continual sense of His presence, and, if possible never to forget Him more." (p. 29)
I wish I could say that I exercised myself in the knowledge and love of God that I was never pulled away from the continuous thought of my Awesome God. Yet, for me personally, when I go about my daily tasks, I am often pulled away from meditation on God and my thoughts turn towards my present endeavors.
I will share more at another time, but here are some small tidbits to chew on. I would love to hear how you focus your mind and thoughts to continually focus on God.
"In the beginning of his novitiate he spent the hours appointed for private prayer in thinking of God, so as to convince his mind of, and to impress deeply upon his heart, the divine existence, rather by devout sentiments, and submission to the lights of faith, than by studied reasonings and elaborate meditations." (p. 28)
Instead of studing Scripture to grasp some big theological issue, Brother Lawrance spent his time on studying who God is, and filling his thoughts with the character of God. When spending daily time in prayer, we can so easily get distracted by interpreting and understanding different passages, that we often fail to notice how God is revealing himself in the passage.
Brother Lawrence also chose to focuse on conversing with God rather than elaborate prayers. I am sure we have all experienced praying with women who have prayed for show rather than out of a sincere fervancy to commune with God.
"he exercised himself in the knowledge and love of God, resolving to use his utmost endeavor to line in a continual sense of His presence, and, if possible never to forget Him more." (p. 29)
I wish I could say that I exercised myself in the knowledge and love of God that I was never pulled away from the continuous thought of my Awesome God. Yet, for me personally, when I go about my daily tasks, I am often pulled away from meditation on God and my thoughts turn towards my present endeavors.
I will share more at another time, but here are some small tidbits to chew on. I would love to hear how you focus your mind and thoughts to continually focus on God.
Monday, July 25, 2011
The Horrors of Being a Task Oriented Person
I did something horrible last week. My girls were excited, they were going to be spending an entire day and night at a friends house while Daddy and I spent a special day with their brothers. The boys were excited to go see Cars 2, and we were thrilled to be able to give them some personal time. Everything was going to be great!
Early in the morning (before their friend was even awake), I dropped the girls off. They had everything they needed. I said goodbye, and climbed back in the car to head home and pick up the rest of the family. Before I pulled out of the driveway I saw my youngest at the door. I poked my head out and asked if she needed anything. She walked away from the door, and despite the feeling in my stomach that I should go to her, I pulled out of the driveway and headed home.
I was so focused on the task of dropping the girls off and picking up my boys that I didn't even realize that I left the girls without giving them hugs, kisses, or even saying I LOVE YOU!
By the time I got home, I realized what I had done. The girls were now fifteen minutes away, and we were going to be driving several hours away with the boys. I ended up spending the day in prayer -- praying that God would keep us safe so I could get back home to my girls to hug, kiss them, and tell them I LOVE YOU!
Yes, I had a wonderful time with my boys, but I can't tell you how thankful I was to get back home safely. You see, I am very much a task oriented person. While this does allow me to get a lot of things accomplished in a short amount of time, it destroys one of the most important things in life - Relationships. Unfortunately, I had to ruin a wonderful day with anxiety all because I was more task focused the relationally focused. I pray the Lord will help me to remember when I need to set the task aside and focus on the relationship that needs to be built. We were put here on earth for a relationship with God. This itself should be enough to remind me to focus on God and people and not on tasks.
I don't think my girls really even noticed, but next time I hope I will stop and remember to express my love.
Just a side: The girls did enjoy the hugging, tickle fest they received when we got back home!
Early in the morning (before their friend was even awake), I dropped the girls off. They had everything they needed. I said goodbye, and climbed back in the car to head home and pick up the rest of the family. Before I pulled out of the driveway I saw my youngest at the door. I poked my head out and asked if she needed anything. She walked away from the door, and despite the feeling in my stomach that I should go to her, I pulled out of the driveway and headed home.
I was so focused on the task of dropping the girls off and picking up my boys that I didn't even realize that I left the girls without giving them hugs, kisses, or even saying I LOVE YOU!
By the time I got home, I realized what I had done. The girls were now fifteen minutes away, and we were going to be driving several hours away with the boys. I ended up spending the day in prayer -- praying that God would keep us safe so I could get back home to my girls to hug, kiss them, and tell them I LOVE YOU!
Yes, I had a wonderful time with my boys, but I can't tell you how thankful I was to get back home safely. You see, I am very much a task oriented person. While this does allow me to get a lot of things accomplished in a short amount of time, it destroys one of the most important things in life - Relationships. Unfortunately, I had to ruin a wonderful day with anxiety all because I was more task focused the relationally focused. I pray the Lord will help me to remember when I need to set the task aside and focus on the relationship that needs to be built. We were put here on earth for a relationship with God. This itself should be enough to remind me to focus on God and people and not on tasks.
I don't think my girls really even noticed, but next time I hope I will stop and remember to express my love.
Just a side: The girls did enjoy the hugging, tickle fest they received when we got back home!
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Abundance of Blessings
26. The gift of a beautiful piano
27. Tomatoes ripening from the garden
28. Discussing with my children the Nativity Movie
29. Watching two little boys sword fight
30. Vacation Bible School
31. Teaching my kids to play Uno
32. Playing uno with a two year old -- Gives you plenty of laughs
33. Four children crammed into a toddler pool jumping and splashing
34. The ability to water my garden with a hose instead of hauling water by the bucket full
35. Precious time spent with distant family
36. Baking with my oldest
37. Rainchecks!
38. A special date with my husband
39. Listening to my daughter practice music
40. A running air conditioner during the heat of summer
God gives us so many blessings and gifts. Everyday I am thankful for the precious blessings He has placed in my hands.
Thank you Father for teaching me to love.
27. Tomatoes ripening from the garden
28. Discussing with my children the Nativity Movie
29. Watching two little boys sword fight
30. Vacation Bible School
31. Teaching my kids to play Uno
32. Playing uno with a two year old -- Gives you plenty of laughs
33. Four children crammed into a toddler pool jumping and splashing
34. The ability to water my garden with a hose instead of hauling water by the bucket full
35. Precious time spent with distant family
36. Baking with my oldest
37. Rainchecks!
38. A special date with my husband
39. Listening to my daughter practice music
40. A running air conditioner during the heat of summer
God gives us so many blessings and gifts. Everyday I am thankful for the precious blessings He has placed in my hands.
Thank you Father for teaching me to love.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Seeking the Kingdom
At the end of the day, what is important? So much happens everyday, and I pray that I am training my kids in a way that brings glory to God. Everyday I fail. I fail as a parent, and I fail as a child of God. But, I must be willing to acknowledge the mistakes, and the sin. I must confess before God; and when necessary, I must seek forgiveness from my children.
Seeking the kingdom of God first and foremost is not easy. In fact, I would say in today's day it is one of the most difficult things we can do. Sports, Education, Entertainment, Intelligence, Money, Recreation, all of it quickly crowds out the important aspects every day. Ultimately, does it matter if my child gets an A on the test? Does it matter if my child can hit the baseball? Does it even matter if my house is perfectly clean and presentable 100% of the time? No, what matters is that I teach my children to do all things without murmuring and complaining. That my children learn the value of sharing the Gospel with their friends and neighbors. That my children learn to have compassion on those less fortunate, and choose not to judge those who don't behave exactly as they do. What matters is that I live a life pleasing to God and make the most of every moment and every opportunity to teach my children about God.
Each and every morning, as I exit my bed I need to challenge myself to be with my children and train them not by words, but by example. The day is half over, and what have I taught my children today? Have I taught them of God's love? or have I told them the computer, or television, or book I'm reading is more important? Am I stressing a passion for God's Word or a passion for the adventure in a piece of fiction? Every word I say and every move I make is being watched and heard. What are they learning today?
Seeking the kingdom of God first and foremost is not easy. In fact, I would say in today's day it is one of the most difficult things we can do. Sports, Education, Entertainment, Intelligence, Money, Recreation, all of it quickly crowds out the important aspects every day. Ultimately, does it matter if my child gets an A on the test? Does it matter if my child can hit the baseball? Does it even matter if my house is perfectly clean and presentable 100% of the time? No, what matters is that I teach my children to do all things without murmuring and complaining. That my children learn the value of sharing the Gospel with their friends and neighbors. That my children learn to have compassion on those less fortunate, and choose not to judge those who don't behave exactly as they do. What matters is that I live a life pleasing to God and make the most of every moment and every opportunity to teach my children about God.
Each and every morning, as I exit my bed I need to challenge myself to be with my children and train them not by words, but by example. The day is half over, and what have I taught my children today? Have I taught them of God's love? or have I told them the computer, or television, or book I'm reading is more important? Am I stressing a passion for God's Word or a passion for the adventure in a piece of fiction? Every word I say and every move I make is being watched and heard. What are they learning today?
Monday, May 16, 2011
Gardening for Life
I glanced out the window, and noticed two solitary roses blooming on the row of rose bushes. Those bushes have been a blessing and a curse to me. The roses on the bush are beautiful and fragrant. I love using them to grace my table throughout the entire summer. They make a beautiful centerpiece around a trifle bowl set at the table for company. However, the bushes grow a lot during the summer. They grow until they are nothing more than a tangled overgrown mess of thorns. During the winter months I see them in their barren scraggle, and dread the coming pruning. I don't like pruning the bushes because I am afraid I may cut them too short, uneven, or find myself covered in thorns. But, for the roses to be healthy and beautiful they need to be pruned.
My life is very much like the row of roses. Daily I must be pruned. The pruning in my life takes many different shapes and forms. Some days I am being pruned, and somedays I am the pruner. Somedays the pruning involves preventing a favorite food from entering the mouth. Other days it comes in the shape of a child's imitation that causes me to realize another area to prune out.
Anytime you discover that you have elevated something to greater importance than our Lord and Savior, you must get out the pruning shears. Not because that "something" is bad and wicked, but in order for your spiritual health. For example, all of my children love food. However, one of my children has a passion for eating that far exceeds the normal desire to eat. So we have established a new rule. If mommy offers a snack, you may have a snack. If you ask for a snack, then you will not eat anything until the next meal. This may sound harsh, but for a child that has made food god, it is a necessity. Some days I have to be purposeful in not opening the computer until all my morning chores have been accomplished. Not because the computer is evil or wicked, but because at times communicating via electronics pulls me away from dealing with the reality of my family. I am being pruned. Pruning does not mean complete removal of the plant, but a cutting back for fullness and health.
I want my life to be full of God's goodness and joy. Not full of the idols I so easily build up in my life.
What areas of your life has God been pruning?
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Joyfulness
We long for peace, we long for serenity, we long for joy and happiness. Where do we look? We look for things to make us happy, we look for people to bring us joy, we look for good behavior in children to bring peace. Yet, we don't find happiness in things. People often bring us pain not joy. Children, well I know my children certainly don't bring peace even though they are relatively well behaved.
So, where do we find peace and serenity, joy and happiness? The answer is in the blood of Jesus Christ. Only Christ can give us true peace. Only Christ can calm our fears and handle our worries. Only finding ourselves in Christ can bring true Joy, and only in the security of our future in Heaven can we find lasting happiness.
God created us to live today. He doesn't want us to relive our regrets of yesterday. He doesn't want us to plan out our obediences of tomorrow. This moment is the one God has given you.
My moment requires that I complete my household chores and tuck my children into bed. What are you going to do with it?
So, where do we find peace and serenity, joy and happiness? The answer is in the blood of Jesus Christ. Only Christ can give us true peace. Only Christ can calm our fears and handle our worries. Only finding ourselves in Christ can bring true Joy, and only in the security of our future in Heaven can we find lasting happiness.
God created us to live today. He doesn't want us to relive our regrets of yesterday. He doesn't want us to plan out our obediences of tomorrow. This moment is the one God has given you.
My moment requires that I complete my household chores and tuck my children into bed. What are you going to do with it?
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Take this cup away
And he said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me." (Mark 14:36). Have you ever prayed this prayer? Or, if you haven't actually prayed it, have you ever thought it?
This morning at the Gospel Coalition, James MacDonald preached on Psalm 25. The theme for this year's conference is preaching Christ in the Old Testament. The sermon was a great encouragement, and convicting at the same time. Psalm 25: 20, David states "Keep my soul, and deliver me;" David cries out for God to deliver him. Correspondingly, Christ cries out to his Father to deliver him from the weight of having the sins of the earth poured out on himself.
Yet, neither of these passages stop at the cry for deliverance. David continues "Let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You. Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for You." David wants deliverance, but more than deliverance he wants to be sure he is trusting and waiting on God.
Christ continues the verse with And he said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36). "Not what I will, but what you will." I think we often times pray for deliverance from our trials. Whether the trial is minor, or whether it is major. Whether it is a broken down vehicle in the middle of nowhere, or stage four cancer raging through the body of our child. Trials are hard to bear. They are often unwanted, pressure building stages of our lives. Yet, it is the pressure that turns a dirty old piece of coal into a beautiful sparkling diamond.
I am nothing more than a lump of coal that the Master is beautifying. Next time the pressure builds, and the trials seems more than you can bear, don't leave your prayer at a prayer of deliverance -- remember to finish it with "Not what I will, but what you will" and wait. Wait upon the Lord Your God and see what wondrous things He will do. Romans 8:28 -- And we know that all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. As believers, we have been called to the greatest calling -- to share the gospel to a lost world. God has a greater plan than you or I can see, we must simply WAIT and TRUST. God will bring us through the trial.
This morning at the Gospel Coalition, James MacDonald preached on Psalm 25. The theme for this year's conference is preaching Christ in the Old Testament. The sermon was a great encouragement, and convicting at the same time. Psalm 25: 20, David states "Keep my soul, and deliver me;" David cries out for God to deliver him. Correspondingly, Christ cries out to his Father to deliver him from the weight of having the sins of the earth poured out on himself.
Yet, neither of these passages stop at the cry for deliverance. David continues "Let me not be ashamed, for I put my trust in You. Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for You." David wants deliverance, but more than deliverance he wants to be sure he is trusting and waiting on God.
Christ continues the verse with And he said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36). "Not what I will, but what you will." I think we often times pray for deliverance from our trials. Whether the trial is minor, or whether it is major. Whether it is a broken down vehicle in the middle of nowhere, or stage four cancer raging through the body of our child. Trials are hard to bear. They are often unwanted, pressure building stages of our lives. Yet, it is the pressure that turns a dirty old piece of coal into a beautiful sparkling diamond.
I am nothing more than a lump of coal that the Master is beautifying. Next time the pressure builds, and the trials seems more than you can bear, don't leave your prayer at a prayer of deliverance -- remember to finish it with "Not what I will, but what you will" and wait. Wait upon the Lord Your God and see what wondrous things He will do. Romans 8:28 -- And we know that all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. As believers, we have been called to the greatest calling -- to share the gospel to a lost world. God has a greater plan than you or I can see, we must simply WAIT and TRUST. God will bring us through the trial.
Preparing for Sunday: Wednesday
Today is a great day to have a chapel service with your children to help them remember the proper behavior they are to have in church. With the wealth of sermons available on the Internet (do be wise in what sermon you choose -- choose a preacher you know preaches the gospel message correctly), it is easy to find a new sermon each week to listen to.
After you have chosen a sermon to listen to, sit your children down on the couch, or around the table, and explain to them what you are going to do. I like to sit my kids beside me on the couch to "practice how we are going to sit in church. They are each given a Bible, a notebook, and a pencil. Have a time of singing together where they can join in on the singing with you (just like they would do during the service). Have a time of prayer. Take a moment to reexplain how they are to sit with explanation of how discipline will be issued (just as you would do on Sunday's). For example, my six year old knows how to sit quietly and keep her hands to herself. However, she rarely behaves in church and she knows punishment will be waiting for her at home. I am not promoting that you discipline your one year old for squirming (for example, a couple weeks ago, my husband mentioned the rooster crow in a sermon. My two year old promptly added er er ererrrrrrrrrrrr -- I promptly tried to shush him, but was pleased that he was at least listening on occasion).
Mom, sit down with your children and your Bible-- remember, we are to set the example. I suggest using a note card for taking notes (it's easier to slip into your Bible if you have to deal with a child). Begin the sermon, and if any of the kids begin to act up, you can pause the message and deal with the situation. Sit back down and return to listening to the sermon. If you are doing this for the first time, you can progressively work your way up to an entire sermon -- Start with 15 minutes of sitting, and work your way up to the full 45 - 75 minutes of sitting still. If you can train your children to sit quietly and listen to a sermon now you will be blessed when they are older, and in other situations when they need to know how to sit quietly and attentively. If they know how to write start off by having them pick out words and write the words, then progress to sentences, and continue progressing until they can take notes on the sermon. If they don't know how to write, have them draw pictures of words they hear, or copy the words you write in your notes.
This is a training session. If your children need more work in preparation for Sunday's, maybe a practice session every other day would be helpful. You set the pace. Don't become upset or angry that your kids are not letting you hear a complete sermon. Instead, rejoice in the tidbits that you are able to grasp and focus on the training aspect. Eventually you will be able to focus on the preaching again, but for this season of our lives, God has granted us the task of teaching our children to have a passion for God.
After you have chosen a sermon to listen to, sit your children down on the couch, or around the table, and explain to them what you are going to do. I like to sit my kids beside me on the couch to "practice how we are going to sit in church. They are each given a Bible, a notebook, and a pencil. Have a time of singing together where they can join in on the singing with you (just like they would do during the service). Have a time of prayer. Take a moment to reexplain how they are to sit with explanation of how discipline will be issued (just as you would do on Sunday's). For example, my six year old knows how to sit quietly and keep her hands to herself. However, she rarely behaves in church and she knows punishment will be waiting for her at home. I am not promoting that you discipline your one year old for squirming (for example, a couple weeks ago, my husband mentioned the rooster crow in a sermon. My two year old promptly added er er ererrrrrrrrrrrr -- I promptly tried to shush him, but was pleased that he was at least listening on occasion).
Mom, sit down with your children and your Bible-- remember, we are to set the example. I suggest using a note card for taking notes (it's easier to slip into your Bible if you have to deal with a child). Begin the sermon, and if any of the kids begin to act up, you can pause the message and deal with the situation. Sit back down and return to listening to the sermon. If you are doing this for the first time, you can progressively work your way up to an entire sermon -- Start with 15 minutes of sitting, and work your way up to the full 45 - 75 minutes of sitting still. If you can train your children to sit quietly and listen to a sermon now you will be blessed when they are older, and in other situations when they need to know how to sit quietly and attentively. If they know how to write start off by having them pick out words and write the words, then progress to sentences, and continue progressing until they can take notes on the sermon. If they don't know how to write, have them draw pictures of words they hear, or copy the words you write in your notes.
This is a training session. If your children need more work in preparation for Sunday's, maybe a practice session every other day would be helpful. You set the pace. Don't become upset or angry that your kids are not letting you hear a complete sermon. Instead, rejoice in the tidbits that you are able to grasp and focus on the training aspect. Eventually you will be able to focus on the preaching again, but for this season of our lives, God has granted us the task of teaching our children to have a passion for God.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Breaking Down the Walls
This wall is a serious wall that can be the cause of destroying our personal ministry to the women in our churches, and it can also destroy my husband's ministry. This wall is the Wall of Depression.
Depression takes on many forms at many different levels. The easiest wall to climb over is the wall of discouragement. We can quickly go to God's Word and find encouragement to meet the challenges of the day. Discouragement usually does not last very long if my first response is to turn over to God. I face discouragement because I create an expectation of how something should be done, or results something should give. When the outcome does not meet my expectation, I am overwhelmed by discouragement. As wives, we need to remember that our job in the ministry is not to produce the outcome of growing our churches or forcing salvation upon others. This is not even the job of our Pastor Husbands. The outcome belongs to the Lord. My job as a wife is to support my husband and care for my family, and assist in ministering to the needs of the church as much as I am able (or are permitted by the church members -- obviously, if they don't tell you about a need it's difficult to minister).
From this point on, depression takes on more serious forms and the walls are harder to break down. The symptoms of depression range from always being exhausted, to a constant sadness, to suicidal thoughts. However, the source remains the same -- Selfish thinking because our expectations are not being met.
In the ministry, I discovered that I have a lot of expectations. I expect the church members to be as excited as we are about a ministry opportunity. I expect the church to work together on repairs that need to be done. I expect the people to stay awake and listen to the wonderful sermon my husband has prepared. I expected my children to sit quietly through the church service. When these expectations aren't met, discouragement sets in. If the initial discouragement is not dealt with, the next missed expectation causes me to sink deeper until I eventually find myself wallowing in the pit of despair.
Ever since I was in elementary school I have battled with depression. I can remember walking home in junior high and praying for Christ to return right away because I just knew I wouldn't survive another day. Suicide was a recurring thought, but I knew it was sinful. I remember one night in high school consuming nearly an entire bottle of pain killers.
As I contemplated that weekend, it wasn't a matter of feeling pain as much as it was being overwhelmed with loneliness (caused by unmet expectations). I knew with each pill I swallowed that I was drowning myself in selfishness.
Fast forward about fifteen years. Loneliness is still a struggle for me. However, my bouts of depression have been fewer and shorter. My most recent struggle lasted only three days. This realization has caused me to examine why.
We serve an awesome God, and I know that it is his grace, compassion, and gospel that has lifted me from the pit of despondency. With five little ones clamouring for attention, I have very little time for pity parties. Plus, when I do throw a pity party, it doesn't take long to see another one in my family having his/her own party.
This morning my scripture reading included "The sins of the father's will be visited upon the third and fourth generation." I do not want my children wallowing in despair as I wasted much of my childhood doing.
When depressed we often prefer to sleep in and stay inside. We waste away by either reading a book or mindlessly watching a movie or television. All of these are the wrong response to depression as they only cause us to sink further into the bog of self-pity.
When I am busy studying God's Word, serving others, sharing the Gospel of Christ, I no longer focus on my own perceived needs and expectations. Instead, I focus on how I can meet the needs of others.
Next time you find yourself beginning to step into the pit of despair, turn your mourning into joy. Praise the Lord that you are not responsible for the reactions and responses of others. Praise God for the opportunity to minister for Him. Put on some Godly praise music and sing praises to God. Remember his grace, His mercy. Remember how awesome our God is!
Sometimes depression comes because we have forgotten how awesome God IS!!!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Does Ministry get Lonely and Hard?
If you have spent any amount of time in Christian Ministry, you know there are days you want to pull out your hair and scream because it seems like people either aren't getting it, or they don't want to change. This weekend was a bit of a challenge for me in this regards. I'm not going to go into details, but it is one of those issues that makes you think people have forgotten that the purpose of the church is more than just going to hear the preaching.
Well, after having a rough day of discouragement yesterday, I woke up early this morning and sat down to study my Bible. My reading came from Exodus 30 - 32. As I began reading about Moses visiting with God on the mountaintop, I was excited about learning and sitting at the feet of God. Then, after Moses is handed the ten commandments, God looks down at His people, sees their great wickedness and rejection of Himself. There is no other way to look at it. Israel rejected God as their deliverer -- Men made a golden calf and proclaimed "These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt." Aaron, Moses' own brother who stood beside Moses in front of Pharaoh and performed all these miracles at the hand of God even built an alter before this calf for the people to worship at. God's righteous anger was hot. He wanted to destroy the people, and Moses stood in the gap and pleaded for God to spare his people.
When Moses came down the mountain, his own anger was kindled against the people, and he destroyed the calf, and commanded the Levites to destroy any who persisted in idolatry and immorality.
As I read this passage, another instance in Moses' life came to mind. An instance where the people were complaining and Moses. frustrated and angry, disobeyed God and struck the rock with his rod instead of speaking to the rock. Moses was tired, lonely, and frustrated by the stubbornness of the people.
As I meditated on this, my heart was rebuked. If the prophets struggled with loneliness, people who refused to respond to God's message, and frustration, how can I expect ministry today to be any different? I have been selfish -- almost as though I expected ministering to come easy and naturally. While this doesn't change anything in our church body, reflecting on this passage has helped to bring me up out of my discouragement and refocus on the one I am serving. God does not demand that we bring him results.
Well, after having a rough day of discouragement yesterday, I woke up early this morning and sat down to study my Bible. My reading came from Exodus 30 - 32. As I began reading about Moses visiting with God on the mountaintop, I was excited about learning and sitting at the feet of God. Then, after Moses is handed the ten commandments, God looks down at His people, sees their great wickedness and rejection of Himself. There is no other way to look at it. Israel rejected God as their deliverer -- Men made a golden calf and proclaimed "These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt." Aaron, Moses' own brother who stood beside Moses in front of Pharaoh and performed all these miracles at the hand of God even built an alter before this calf for the people to worship at. God's righteous anger was hot. He wanted to destroy the people, and Moses stood in the gap and pleaded for God to spare his people.
When Moses came down the mountain, his own anger was kindled against the people, and he destroyed the calf, and commanded the Levites to destroy any who persisted in idolatry and immorality.
As I read this passage, another instance in Moses' life came to mind. An instance where the people were complaining and Moses. frustrated and angry, disobeyed God and struck the rock with his rod instead of speaking to the rock. Moses was tired, lonely, and frustrated by the stubbornness of the people.
As I meditated on this, my heart was rebuked. If the prophets struggled with loneliness, people who refused to respond to God's message, and frustration, how can I expect ministry today to be any different? I have been selfish -- almost as though I expected ministering to come easy and naturally. While this doesn't change anything in our church body, reflecting on this passage has helped to bring me up out of my discouragement and refocus on the one I am serving. God does not demand that we bring him results.
"With what shall I come before the LORD,
and bow myself before God on high?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
7 Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?"
8He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6)
and bow myself before God on high?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
7 Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?"
8He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6)
Am I walking humbly today, or walking in pride? I am not responsible for how others respond to God's Word, but I am responsible for my own response to God's Word. What about you, what has your ministry been teaching you?
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Worship during the Dirty Dishes
Occasionally I will have a day where I want to just tune out all the noise in our house. I don't say this in a negative way. I simply have some days where the kids are so busy playing that they get a little loud, and I have difficulty thinking. When the kids are playing well, and not being overly wild or fighting, I don't like interrupting their play simply because the noise level is a little too loud for my comfort. So, instead I grab my MP3 player, position the ear buds in my ears and do some house work.
Yesterday was one of those days where I just needed to have some quiet time to refocus on worshipping the Lord (I often get distracted and lose focus). So, yesterday I put in my ear buds and tackled a pile of dirty dishes while I fixed supper. While I was listening, the song By Faith from Keith and Kristyn Getty came on. As I was singing along with the music, I was struck by the words of the hymn.
We will stand as children of the promise
We will fix our eyes on Him our soul's reward
Till the race is finished and the work is done
We'll walk by faith and not by sight
By faith the church was called to go
In the power of the Spirit to the lost
To deliver captives and to preach good news
In every corner of the earth
We will stand...
By faith this mountain shall be moved
And the power of the gospel shall prevail
For we know in Christ all things are possible
For all who call upon His name
We will stand...
Yes, some days ministry in a small church and small community can be very difficult. I won't lie and say I don't ever wish we were in a larger church. However, I have enough friends in ministry to know that every church has its struggles. The struggles are just different. But, by Faith I will continue to run this race beside my husband and we will faithfully minister to our small congregation. This church right here is where God has called us, and I must not turn my husband against the ministry. I must not plant seeds of doubt in his mind. Instead, I must support and encourage my husband. My job is to do my best to keep things running smoothly at home, so when he comes through the door the trials and discouragements of the church no longer weigh him down, but that the love and joy of a happy and peaceful family will uplift his spirits.
Today LifeAction Ministries sent out an e-mail entitled "Debunking the American Dream of Ministerial Success" by Bill Elliff
This article brought up the Apostle Paul "But I will stay in Ephesus until Pentecost, for a wide door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many adversaries" (1 Corinthians 16:8-9 ESV). As ministers of the Gospel, we are to expect adversaries. Adversaries are not just from without the church. Paul had many adversaries attacking his ministry even from within the church.
Today I am making a choice. Instead of allowing the ministry to discourage and dishearten me, I am going to find encouragement in knowing that God has a purpose for us right where we are, and He has a plan for our wonderful congregation. Therefore, I must be the encourager to my husband and support the various activities and ways he strives to reach our community.
Yesterday was one of those days where I just needed to have some quiet time to refocus on worshipping the Lord (I often get distracted and lose focus). So, yesterday I put in my ear buds and tackled a pile of dirty dishes while I fixed supper. While I was listening, the song By Faith from Keith and Kristyn Getty came on. As I was singing along with the music, I was struck by the words of the hymn.
We will stand as children of the promise
We will fix our eyes on Him our soul's reward
Till the race is finished and the work is done
We'll walk by faith and not by sight
By faith the church was called to go
In the power of the Spirit to the lost
To deliver captives and to preach good news
In every corner of the earth
We will stand...
By faith this mountain shall be moved
And the power of the gospel shall prevail
For we know in Christ all things are possible
For all who call upon His name
We will stand...
Yes, some days ministry in a small church and small community can be very difficult. I won't lie and say I don't ever wish we were in a larger church. However, I have enough friends in ministry to know that every church has its struggles. The struggles are just different. But, by Faith I will continue to run this race beside my husband and we will faithfully minister to our small congregation. This church right here is where God has called us, and I must not turn my husband against the ministry. I must not plant seeds of doubt in his mind. Instead, I must support and encourage my husband. My job is to do my best to keep things running smoothly at home, so when he comes through the door the trials and discouragements of the church no longer weigh him down, but that the love and joy of a happy and peaceful family will uplift his spirits.
Today LifeAction Ministries sent out an e-mail entitled "Debunking the American Dream of Ministerial Success" by Bill Elliff
This article brought up the Apostle Paul "But I will stay in Ephesus until Pentecost, for a wide door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many adversaries" (1 Corinthians 16:8-9 ESV). As ministers of the Gospel, we are to expect adversaries. Adversaries are not just from without the church. Paul had many adversaries attacking his ministry even from within the church.
Today I am making a choice. Instead of allowing the ministry to discourage and dishearten me, I am going to find encouragement in knowing that God has a purpose for us right where we are, and He has a plan for our wonderful congregation. Therefore, I must be the encourager to my husband and support the various activities and ways he strives to reach our community.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Fleshing out the Scripture
Parenting can be full of hard choices. As parents in America, we are bombarded with advice of all sorts coming from all directions. Each source assuring us that they are correct and all other sources wrong. As a Christian, we can have peace and wisdom to know how to raise our kids. I'm not saying that we never question the decisions we make, or wonder if we should have done something differently, but I am saying that we have the Author of Wisdom to assist us in guiding and raising our children.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children." When I read this verse a couple months ago, I was greatly convicted. Not because we haven't been teaching our children the Scriptures, but I had not been incorporating the Scriptures into my parenting. Our kids learn lots of verses every week for kids club and Sunday School, but we've not been teaching them the verses they needed to deal with their personal spiritual battles.
Verse 7 continues with "and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. [v. 8] You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. [v.9] You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. [v.12] . . . lest you forget the Lord." I was doing well with teaching my kids to memorize the Word of God, but I was not teaching them properly -- I was not holding the Word of God out before them as the source of wisdom. I was not teaching them to change their ways by use of the Scriptures.
Let me explain, with four young kids we do have our share of fights and gimmies, and accusations of the sibling taking "my" toy, pencil, you name it they accuse it. As a family, we have been memorizing I Corinthians 13:1-8a. Now, when my kids are fighting, I have them recite as much of the passage as they have learned (each of the kids). Then, after they all have recited their verses, they are asked the question - "What can you do to show love to _______." After all parties involved in the fight answer the question, I give them each a choice -- You can choose to obey the Scriptures and show love to _______, or you can choose your own wicked way and choose to show hate to __________. When my kids have been confronted with their actions, they have responded by finding ways to work together and share.
I would suggest with young children you focus on one key character or discipline issue at a time until they have the Scripture passage memorized and show evidence of being able to implement the Scripture in their lives. Then pray about the next character quality to work on in the child's life. You will be returning to the previous issues, but it helps to give the kids a foundation -- especially when first starting out -- This will also help you as a parent to not become overwhelmed.
I strongly recommend the book Proverbs for Parenting: A Topical Guide for Child Raising from the Book of Proverbs.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children." When I read this verse a couple months ago, I was greatly convicted. Not because we haven't been teaching our children the Scriptures, but I had not been incorporating the Scriptures into my parenting. Our kids learn lots of verses every week for kids club and Sunday School, but we've not been teaching them the verses they needed to deal with their personal spiritual battles.
Verse 7 continues with "and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. [v. 8] You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. [v.9] You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. [v.12] . . . lest you forget the Lord." I was doing well with teaching my kids to memorize the Word of God, but I was not teaching them properly -- I was not holding the Word of God out before them as the source of wisdom. I was not teaching them to change their ways by use of the Scriptures.
Let me explain, with four young kids we do have our share of fights and gimmies, and accusations of the sibling taking "my" toy, pencil, you name it they accuse it. As a family, we have been memorizing I Corinthians 13:1-8a. Now, when my kids are fighting, I have them recite as much of the passage as they have learned (each of the kids). Then, after they all have recited their verses, they are asked the question - "What can you do to show love to _______." After all parties involved in the fight answer the question, I give them each a choice -- You can choose to obey the Scriptures and show love to _______, or you can choose your own wicked way and choose to show hate to __________. When my kids have been confronted with their actions, they have responded by finding ways to work together and share.
I do want to clarify, that my three older children have each made a profession of faith. So they do have the convicting power of the Holy Spirit working in their hearts when they are confronted with their sins.
My toddler? He is another story. We are working on teaching him the Scripture verses as well, but he is not yet at the position of being able to make the choice. We go through the process for him, and then we make the decision "To show love to _________ you need to let him play with the toy."
Some of the other passages we are using include
Psalm 19:14 -- when our one child loses control of her emotions and throws fits.
Acts 20:35 -- when another child struggles with selfish thoughts and has the gimmies instead of the givings
I strongly recommend the book Proverbs for Parenting: A Topical Guide for Child Raising from the Book of Proverbs.
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