I love dating my husband. We love going out just the two of us and enjoying dinner and some other activity (bowling, mini golf, window shopping). However, dates - at least the way we knew them before marriage and before kids - are very few and far between (I'm talking months between). So few dates are not good for a marriage - we still need to get to know each other and communicate with one another.
Here comes the fun part. We have become creative with our dating. With five young kids, hiring two teenagers can get expensive, and swapping babysitting with another family is difficult because I would have to find two or three families to swap with who would all be available on the same night (a five to one or two ratio is not fair to the other family on a regular basis).
We have started meeting once a week for a financial date. After the kids go to bed, we sit down together with the computer and determine where we are financially for the month. This may soon become a biweekly date as we have greatly reduced our spending. Usually after we have finished our financial discussion, we then will cuddle together and watch a movie on the computer.
Another thing we have started is turning church activities without the kids into a date. A couple weeks ago, we attended a community pastor's appreciation banquet. Even though we carpooled with another couple, I adjusted my thinking so it wasn't just a community function, but it was a "date" with my hubby. It met my requirements of no children, and time spent with my husband. No, we didn't talk as much with each other as we did with those around us, but we did get to dress up a little bit and enjoy simply being together at an adult function.
My favorite date recently was at the hospital when our baby was born. We allowed him to be taken care of in the nursery while we enjoyed a quiet dinner together on our anniversary. Sitting at a table with a steak dinner in hospital garb a few hours after giving birth will go down as a memorable anniversary date!
What are some ways you have sneaked in a date with your husband lately?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Does Ministry get Lonely and Hard?
If you have spent any amount of time in Christian Ministry, you know there are days you want to pull out your hair and scream because it seems like people either aren't getting it, or they don't want to change. This weekend was a bit of a challenge for me in this regards. I'm not going to go into details, but it is one of those issues that makes you think people have forgotten that the purpose of the church is more than just going to hear the preaching.
Well, after having a rough day of discouragement yesterday, I woke up early this morning and sat down to study my Bible. My reading came from Exodus 30 - 32. As I began reading about Moses visiting with God on the mountaintop, I was excited about learning and sitting at the feet of God. Then, after Moses is handed the ten commandments, God looks down at His people, sees their great wickedness and rejection of Himself. There is no other way to look at it. Israel rejected God as their deliverer -- Men made a golden calf and proclaimed "These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt." Aaron, Moses' own brother who stood beside Moses in front of Pharaoh and performed all these miracles at the hand of God even built an alter before this calf for the people to worship at. God's righteous anger was hot. He wanted to destroy the people, and Moses stood in the gap and pleaded for God to spare his people.
When Moses came down the mountain, his own anger was kindled against the people, and he destroyed the calf, and commanded the Levites to destroy any who persisted in idolatry and immorality.
As I read this passage, another instance in Moses' life came to mind. An instance where the people were complaining and Moses. frustrated and angry, disobeyed God and struck the rock with his rod instead of speaking to the rock. Moses was tired, lonely, and frustrated by the stubbornness of the people.
As I meditated on this, my heart was rebuked. If the prophets struggled with loneliness, people who refused to respond to God's message, and frustration, how can I expect ministry today to be any different? I have been selfish -- almost as though I expected ministering to come easy and naturally. While this doesn't change anything in our church body, reflecting on this passage has helped to bring me up out of my discouragement and refocus on the one I am serving. God does not demand that we bring him results.
Well, after having a rough day of discouragement yesterday, I woke up early this morning and sat down to study my Bible. My reading came from Exodus 30 - 32. As I began reading about Moses visiting with God on the mountaintop, I was excited about learning and sitting at the feet of God. Then, after Moses is handed the ten commandments, God looks down at His people, sees their great wickedness and rejection of Himself. There is no other way to look at it. Israel rejected God as their deliverer -- Men made a golden calf and proclaimed "These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt." Aaron, Moses' own brother who stood beside Moses in front of Pharaoh and performed all these miracles at the hand of God even built an alter before this calf for the people to worship at. God's righteous anger was hot. He wanted to destroy the people, and Moses stood in the gap and pleaded for God to spare his people.
When Moses came down the mountain, his own anger was kindled against the people, and he destroyed the calf, and commanded the Levites to destroy any who persisted in idolatry and immorality.
As I read this passage, another instance in Moses' life came to mind. An instance where the people were complaining and Moses. frustrated and angry, disobeyed God and struck the rock with his rod instead of speaking to the rock. Moses was tired, lonely, and frustrated by the stubbornness of the people.
As I meditated on this, my heart was rebuked. If the prophets struggled with loneliness, people who refused to respond to God's message, and frustration, how can I expect ministry today to be any different? I have been selfish -- almost as though I expected ministering to come easy and naturally. While this doesn't change anything in our church body, reflecting on this passage has helped to bring me up out of my discouragement and refocus on the one I am serving. God does not demand that we bring him results.
"With what shall I come before the LORD,
and bow myself before God on high?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
7 Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?"
8He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6)
and bow myself before God on high?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
7 Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?"
8He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6)
Am I walking humbly today, or walking in pride? I am not responsible for how others respond to God's Word, but I am responsible for my own response to God's Word. What about you, what has your ministry been teaching you?
Monday, March 7, 2011
Preparing for Sunday: Tuesday
Last week I discussed the importance of taking time on Monday to prepare my heart for Sunday. This week, I am going to discuss why I take time on Tuesday to prepare my Sunday School Lesson.
Occassionally, a pastor's wife has to step up and take on a ministry she really doesn't want to take on simply because no one else is willing to take it on and the wonderful Pastor already has too much on his plate. This basically explains how I became a Sunday School teacher. I had no desire to teach Sunday School, not because I don't have the ability to teach, but because I really want my children to have godly influences on their lives other than their parents. However, at this moment in time we have no one else to teach. So, in my reluctance I took on the task.
My first and biggest mistake was my reluctance. Instead of being excited and rejoicing at the opportunity to minister in the church, I complained. Then, after complaining I began to procrastinate. Because I did not want to teach I would wait till the very last moment (Saturday night after the kids were in bed) to prepare the lesson. Ugh, it was awful. I would usually be up till midnight cutting out flannelgraph, making photocopies, and somewhere in there squeezing a few minutes to read through the Bible lesson. Guiltily, I knew this was not the way I should be approaching my class. It often left me tired and stressed on Sunday morning.
So, asking the Lord for wisdom (and I'm sure quite a bit of prayer from my husband that I would change my attitude), I sought out to find a way to make teaching Sunday School a lot less stressful and more enjoyable.
Each quarter when I first receive the materials, I go through and print out all of the papers I will need for the quarter and file them into folders for the week they are to be used. I also get all of the flannelgraph cut out (I found this is a great way to keep my hands busy while watching a movie with my husband -- of course, if you are planning to snuggle with your husband while watching a movie DO NOT DO THIS).
Now we get to Tuesday. On Tuesday, I recommend taking some time to read through and study out the Sunday School lesson for Sunday. Gather any and all supplies you will need for your class, and pull out the papers you will need to photocopy. The reason I suggest you plan all of this on Tuesday is so if your church has a midweek service, you can take everything with you and make your photocopies and place all of the S.S. supplies in your classroom. I have found Sunday mornings are less stressful if I'm not having to rush around church making photocopies and then arriving at the lesson just to realize I left some of the supplies at home.
Now, you are ready for Sunday School. I do recommend reviewing the lesson again on Saturday. However, if you are already prepared and the unexpected arises (this is the ministry, and things always happen on Saturday's when we are unprepared for Sunday - at least it tends to work that way for me), you won't be stressing and staying up into the early hours of the morning to get your Sunday School lesson prepared.
Occassionally, a pastor's wife has to step up and take on a ministry she really doesn't want to take on simply because no one else is willing to take it on and the wonderful Pastor already has too much on his plate. This basically explains how I became a Sunday School teacher. I had no desire to teach Sunday School, not because I don't have the ability to teach, but because I really want my children to have godly influences on their lives other than their parents. However, at this moment in time we have no one else to teach. So, in my reluctance I took on the task.
My first and biggest mistake was my reluctance. Instead of being excited and rejoicing at the opportunity to minister in the church, I complained. Then, after complaining I began to procrastinate. Because I did not want to teach I would wait till the very last moment (Saturday night after the kids were in bed) to prepare the lesson. Ugh, it was awful. I would usually be up till midnight cutting out flannelgraph, making photocopies, and somewhere in there squeezing a few minutes to read through the Bible lesson. Guiltily, I knew this was not the way I should be approaching my class. It often left me tired and stressed on Sunday morning.
So, asking the Lord for wisdom (and I'm sure quite a bit of prayer from my husband that I would change my attitude), I sought out to find a way to make teaching Sunday School a lot less stressful and more enjoyable.
Each quarter when I first receive the materials, I go through and print out all of the papers I will need for the quarter and file them into folders for the week they are to be used. I also get all of the flannelgraph cut out (I found this is a great way to keep my hands busy while watching a movie with my husband -- of course, if you are planning to snuggle with your husband while watching a movie DO NOT DO THIS).
Now we get to Tuesday. On Tuesday, I recommend taking some time to read through and study out the Sunday School lesson for Sunday. Gather any and all supplies you will need for your class, and pull out the papers you will need to photocopy. The reason I suggest you plan all of this on Tuesday is so if your church has a midweek service, you can take everything with you and make your photocopies and place all of the S.S. supplies in your classroom. I have found Sunday mornings are less stressful if I'm not having to rush around church making photocopies and then arriving at the lesson just to realize I left some of the supplies at home.
Now, you are ready for Sunday School. I do recommend reviewing the lesson again on Saturday. However, if you are already prepared and the unexpected arises (this is the ministry, and things always happen on Saturday's when we are unprepared for Sunday - at least it tends to work that way for me), you won't be stressing and staying up into the early hours of the morning to get your Sunday School lesson prepared.
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