Fleshing out the Scripture

Parenting can be full of hard choices.  As parents in America, we are bombarded with advice of all sorts coming from all directions.  Each source assuring us that they are correct and all other sources wrong.  As a Christian, we can have peace and wisdom to know how to raise our kids.  I'm not saying that we never question the decisions we make, or wonder if we should have done something differently, but I am saying that we have the Author of Wisdom to assist us in guiding and raising our children.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children."  When I read this verse a couple months ago, I was greatly convicted.  Not because we haven't been teaching our children the Scriptures, but I had not been incorporating the Scriptures into my parenting.  Our kids learn lots of verses every week for kids club and Sunday School, but we've not been teaching them the verses they needed to deal with their personal spiritual battles.

Verse 7 continues with "and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.  [v. 8] You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. [v.9] You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. [v.12] . . . lest you forget the Lord."  I was doing well with teaching my kids to memorize the Word of God, but I was not teaching them properly -- I was not holding the Word of God out before them as the source of wisdom.  I was not teaching them to change their ways by use of the Scriptures.

Let me explain, with four young kids we do have our share of fights and gimmies, and accusations of the sibling taking "my" toy, pencil, you name it they accuse it.  As a family, we have been memorizing I Corinthians 13:1-8a.  Now, when my kids are fighting, I have them recite as much of the passage as they have learned (each of the kids).  Then, after they all have recited their verses, they are asked the question - "What can you do to show love to _______."  After all parties involved in the fight answer the question, I give them each a choice -- You can choose to obey the Scriptures and show love to _______, or you can choose your own wicked way and choose to show hate to __________.  When my kids have been confronted with their actions, they have responded by finding ways to work together and share.

I do want to clarify, that my three older children have each made a profession of faith.  So they do have the convicting power of the Holy Spirit working in their hearts when they are confronted with their sins.

My toddler?  He is another story.  We are working on teaching him the Scripture verses as well, but he is not yet at the position of being able to make the choice.  We go through the process for him, and then we make the decision "To show love to _________ you need to let him play with the toy."

Some of the other passages we are using include

Psalm 19:14 -- when our one child loses control of her emotions and throws fits.

Acts 20:35 -- when another child struggles with selfish thoughts and has the gimmies instead of the givings

I would suggest with young children you focus on one key character or discipline issue at a time until they have the Scripture passage memorized and show evidence of being able to implement the Scripture in their lives.  Then pray about the next character quality to work on in the child's life.  You will be returning to the previous issues, but it helps to give the kids a foundation -- especially when first starting out -- This will also help you as a parent to not become overwhelmed.

I strongly recommend the book Proverbs for Parenting: A Topical Guide for Child Raising from the Book of Proverbs.