A Love/Hate Relationship - Part 1

What a wonderful Lord's Day we had on Sunday.  I love being able to attend service and return home with my heart full from being taught from the Word of God and fellowshipping with other believers.  This past Sunday was incredible.  My children sat quietly and somewhat attentively, and I made it through an entire service without having to step out. 

However, this has not always been the relationship I had with Sundays.  Over the past five years, there have been many times that the day set aside for worshipping our Great Lord was my most miserable and lonely day of the week.  Nearly five years ago, my husband and I found ourselves in a small hurting church.  Our young preschoolers were the only children, and we had an adjustment to make.  I had a choice, I could either teach our three active children to sit quietly through service or I could spend all four services in the nursery.  Many times I ended the service by sitting in the nursery trying to keep the kids quiet.  More than once I would completely leave the church and bring all of the kids home and put them in bed.  Many of those days ended with me in tears.  This was a very hard season in life for me.  I fought it with every ounce of my being; because I fought it, I was miserable and lonely. 

I'm not saying there was anything I could have done differently.  I couldn't force my kids to sit still and quiet.  Three kids and only two arms made this task nearly impossible (I would have needed to be an octopus to accomplish this).  However, my attitude stunk.  I placed unreasonable expectations on my kids to sit quietly for three services in one day and still be able to take afternoon naps -- that meant they had no time on Sundays to play and be active. 

I also placed unreasonable expectations on our congregation.  I thought surely someone else in the church would volunteer to sit with my kids in the nursery for at least one service every now and then (I wasn't asking for every week).  I expectantly hung up a nursery volunteer sheet.  To my dismay, no one signed up to be in the nursery.  My expectation caused me to begin resenting the church.

Horror of Horrors, was when I became angry with my husband. I would get hurt and upset whenever he preached beyond the allotted time frame (okay, beyond my allotted time frame).  Didn't he understand I was barely maintaining my composure to stay sitting there?  Couldn't he tell the kids couldn't possibly sit for an extra half hour? 

Those first two to three years of training our children to behave in church was indeed a season of winter in my life.  You know what, the winter is not entirely over for me.  Since arriving at the church, we have added two more babies to our family.  This means I still don't hear majority of the sermons my husband preaches, but this winter season in my life is slowly warming up. 

I write this so that you, young pastor's wife can find encouragement knowing that while this season is cold and lonely at times, you can make it through this season.  It will ease up.  I will continue this topic on another day.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: