Preparing the Heart for Sunday

How was your Sunday?  I pray you enjoyed the fellowship with other believers, and the exhortation from the Scriptures.  However, if your Sunday was like mine where you were distracted by a whimpering baby and a squirmy toddler, it may not be so easy to say you had a fabulous Sunday.

Yes, Sunday was a challenge.  However, today is a new day.  So, today I begin with the preparation of my heart for next Sunday.

There was a time I dreaded Sundays.  It's not that I didn't like going to church.  I loved going to church.  I just hated to go to church when my husband was preaching and I had to try to grow more arms to keep each of my children quiet.  Yet, as the time passed I realized that the more I hated going to church, the worse my children behaved in church.  Thus, I set out to change my bad attitude about Sundays.

I went back to the Scripture - Yes, I could get more out of a sermon by listening at home when the children were down for naps: God commands us to gather together with other believers. 

Hebrews 10:24-25 states

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,

not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another

This passage has helped me to realize that the purpose of attending church is not just to sit in the pew and listen to the sermon.  The purpose of my attending church is to "stir up another to love and good works."  I can't do this if I have a bad attitude about attending in the first place.

Once I realized that my attendance at church was for the purpose of encouraging other believers and to receive encouragement from other believers, attending church became much easier. I no longer had the pressure to try to be fed from the sermon while my kids squirmed for attention.

Now I enjoy going to church, not because of the sermon (although I'm sure my husband is a great preacher, and I'm sure someday I'll actually be able to hear an entire sermon without interruption).  But I look forward to going to church because it's my opportunity to minister to my church family.  By giving hugs, and letting the other women know I'm praying for them throughout the week, I can encourage them. And, I have learned to enjoy just the short visits I get with each church member.

I am also encouraging my children by teaching them the importance of faithfulness; and most importantly, I am encouraging my husband.  When I miss a service (for reasons other than illness), it discourages my husband.  I like to try to hear at least one small point of his sermon to discuss with him over the noon meal. 

So, Mondays are important for me.  They help me to reset my thinking.  I do continue to struggle with the thoughts of "it would be so much easier to just keep them home," or "what's the point in going if every Sunday is going to be like this."  On Mondays I remind myself of why it's important to attend church, and start looking forward to the next Sunday.  By building up anticipation all week, I find it much easier to be joyful and excited about attending church on Sunday, and to be hopeful that this Sunday will be better.

Worship during the Dirty Dishes

Occasionally I will have a day where I want to just tune out all the noise in our house.  I don't say this in a negative way.  I simply have some days where the kids are so busy playing that they get a little loud, and I have difficulty thinking.  When the kids are playing well, and not being overly wild or fighting, I don't like interrupting their play simply because the noise level is a little too loud for my comfort.  So, instead I grab my MP3 player, position the ear buds in my ears and do some house work. 

Yesterday was one of those days where I just needed to have some quiet time to refocus on worshipping the Lord (I often get distracted and lose focus).  So, yesterday I put in my ear buds and tackled a pile of dirty dishes while I fixed supper.  While I was listening, the song By Faith from Keith and Kristyn Getty came on.  As I was singing along with the music, I was struck by the words of the hymn.

We will stand as children of the promise
We will fix our eyes on Him our soul's reward
Till the race is finished and the work is done
We'll walk by faith and not by sight

By faith the church was called to go
In the power of the Spirit to the lost
To deliver captives and to preach good news
In every corner of the earth

We will stand...

By faith this mountain shall be moved
And the power of the gospel shall prevail
For we know in Christ all things are possible
For all who call upon His name

We will stand...
Yes, some days ministry in a small church and small community can be very difficult.  I won't lie and say I don't ever wish we were in a larger church.  However, I have enough friends in ministry to know that every church has its struggles.  The struggles are just different.  But, by Faith I will continue to run this race beside my husband and we will faithfully minister to our small congregation.  This church right here is where God has called us, and I must not turn my husband against the ministry.  I must not plant seeds of doubt in his mind.  Instead, I must support and encourage my husband.  My job is to do my best to keep things running smoothly at home, so when he comes through the door the trials and discouragements of the church no longer weigh him down, but that the love and joy of a happy and peaceful family will uplift his spirits.

Today LifeAction Ministries sent out an e-mail entitled "Debunking the American Dream of Ministerial Success" by Bill Elliff 
This article brought up the Apostle Paul "But I will stay in Ephesus until Pentecost, for a wide door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many adversaries" (1 Corinthians 16:8-9 ESV).  As ministers of the Gospel, we are to expect adversaries.  Adversaries are not just from without the church.  Paul had many adversaries attacking his ministry even from within the church. 

Today I am making a choice.  Instead of allowing the ministry to discourage and dishearten me, I am going to find encouragement in knowing that God has a purpose for us right where we are, and He has a plan for our wonderful congregation.  Therefore, I must be the encourager to my husband and support the various activities and ways he strives to reach our community.

Fleshing out the Scripture

Parenting can be full of hard choices.  As parents in America, we are bombarded with advice of all sorts coming from all directions.  Each source assuring us that they are correct and all other sources wrong.  As a Christian, we can have peace and wisdom to know how to raise our kids.  I'm not saying that we never question the decisions we make, or wonder if we should have done something differently, but I am saying that we have the Author of Wisdom to assist us in guiding and raising our children.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children."  When I read this verse a couple months ago, I was greatly convicted.  Not because we haven't been teaching our children the Scriptures, but I had not been incorporating the Scriptures into my parenting.  Our kids learn lots of verses every week for kids club and Sunday School, but we've not been teaching them the verses they needed to deal with their personal spiritual battles.

Verse 7 continues with "and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.  [v. 8] You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. [v.9] You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. [v.12] . . . lest you forget the Lord."  I was doing well with teaching my kids to memorize the Word of God, but I was not teaching them properly -- I was not holding the Word of God out before them as the source of wisdom.  I was not teaching them to change their ways by use of the Scriptures.

Let me explain, with four young kids we do have our share of fights and gimmies, and accusations of the sibling taking "my" toy, pencil, you name it they accuse it.  As a family, we have been memorizing I Corinthians 13:1-8a.  Now, when my kids are fighting, I have them recite as much of the passage as they have learned (each of the kids).  Then, after they all have recited their verses, they are asked the question - "What can you do to show love to _______."  After all parties involved in the fight answer the question, I give them each a choice -- You can choose to obey the Scriptures and show love to _______, or you can choose your own wicked way and choose to show hate to __________.  When my kids have been confronted with their actions, they have responded by finding ways to work together and share.

I do want to clarify, that my three older children have each made a profession of faith.  So they do have the convicting power of the Holy Spirit working in their hearts when they are confronted with their sins.

My toddler?  He is another story.  We are working on teaching him the Scripture verses as well, but he is not yet at the position of being able to make the choice.  We go through the process for him, and then we make the decision "To show love to _________ you need to let him play with the toy."

Some of the other passages we are using include

Psalm 19:14 -- when our one child loses control of her emotions and throws fits.

Acts 20:35 -- when another child struggles with selfish thoughts and has the gimmies instead of the givings

I would suggest with young children you focus on one key character or discipline issue at a time until they have the Scripture passage memorized and show evidence of being able to implement the Scripture in their lives.  Then pray about the next character quality to work on in the child's life.  You will be returning to the previous issues, but it helps to give the kids a foundation -- especially when first starting out -- This will also help you as a parent to not become overwhelmed.

I strongly recommend the book Proverbs for Parenting: A Topical Guide for Child Raising from the Book of Proverbs.

Wrestling a Crocodile

Have you ever wrestled a crocodile?  Sunday gave me the opportunity . . . at least in theory.

Attempting to keep a toddler still in church is very much like wrestling a crocodile.  Sunday, I had to make a decision on how I would respond.  I could choose to respond in frustration towards a child who was struggling to sit still; or I could rejoice in the opportunity that was given to me.

By sitting in church with my toddler, I am able to train him. He is learning the importance of faithfulness in gathering together with other believers (Hebrews 10:25).  He is also learning how to rein in his energy and sit quietly.

My other children also learn by my example.  If I were to take every opportunity to duck out of church because of a squirming child or a headache caused from stress, my kids would grow up thinking that attending church is not important.  By attending even when going to church is difficult, my kids learn that attending church is very important and has great value for their spiritual lives. 

Yet, my children are not the only ones learning by my actions.  The Lord is also teaching me to control my own emotions and reactions.  I am also learning to find my spiritual nourishment from personal study of the Word of God rather than depending on the preacher to spoon feed me every week (Acts 17:11).  The Lord has also been teaching me that simply gathering together with other believers can be uplifting to one's spirit.  This is not to say that there is no value in hearing the sermon (the sermon has many lessons).  I am simply drawing on those blessings and lessons learned outside of the message.

A Love/Hate Relationship - Part 1

What a wonderful Lord's Day we had on Sunday.  I love being able to attend service and return home with my heart full from being taught from the Word of God and fellowshipping with other believers.  This past Sunday was incredible.  My children sat quietly and somewhat attentively, and I made it through an entire service without having to step out. 

However, this has not always been the relationship I had with Sundays.  Over the past five years, there have been many times that the day set aside for worshipping our Great Lord was my most miserable and lonely day of the week.  Nearly five years ago, my husband and I found ourselves in a small hurting church.  Our young preschoolers were the only children, and we had an adjustment to make.  I had a choice, I could either teach our three active children to sit quietly through service or I could spend all four services in the nursery.  Many times I ended the service by sitting in the nursery trying to keep the kids quiet.  More than once I would completely leave the church and bring all of the kids home and put them in bed.  Many of those days ended with me in tears.  This was a very hard season in life for me.  I fought it with every ounce of my being; because I fought it, I was miserable and lonely. 

I'm not saying there was anything I could have done differently.  I couldn't force my kids to sit still and quiet.  Three kids and only two arms made this task nearly impossible (I would have needed to be an octopus to accomplish this).  However, my attitude stunk.  I placed unreasonable expectations on my kids to sit quietly for three services in one day and still be able to take afternoon naps -- that meant they had no time on Sundays to play and be active. 

I also placed unreasonable expectations on our congregation.  I thought surely someone else in the church would volunteer to sit with my kids in the nursery for at least one service every now and then (I wasn't asking for every week).  I expectantly hung up a nursery volunteer sheet.  To my dismay, no one signed up to be in the nursery.  My expectation caused me to begin resenting the church.

Horror of Horrors, was when I became angry with my husband. I would get hurt and upset whenever he preached beyond the allotted time frame (okay, beyond my allotted time frame).  Didn't he understand I was barely maintaining my composure to stay sitting there?  Couldn't he tell the kids couldn't possibly sit for an extra half hour? 

Those first two to three years of training our children to behave in church was indeed a season of winter in my life.  You know what, the winter is not entirely over for me.  Since arriving at the church, we have added two more babies to our family.  This means I still don't hear majority of the sermons my husband preaches, but this winter season in my life is slowly warming up. 

I write this so that you, young pastor's wife can find encouragement knowing that while this season is cold and lonely at times, you can make it through this season.  It will ease up.  I will continue this topic on another day.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: